What's left is
by EmmaBerlin
Summary: Missing Scene between Beckett and Alexis from 2x18 "Boom", slight spoilers... "The whole time after we were sure that you guys were ok I was wondering... Did the fire harm any of her stuff?" Now it was Kate's turn to swallow.


_The promo pictures for 'Boom' promised a conversation between Alexis and Kate. I was really sad that was left out in the end. Another thing that I didn't unterstand was that the topic of Kate possibly having lost most part of what was left of her mom in the fire went completely untouched. So I decided to put those two together and this is what became of it._

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything pertaining to the show in any form. And that's just so sad...**_

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_**What's left is...  
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It was 9:20 pm when Kate finally and slowly made her way down the stairs in Castle's appartment. She had finished unpacking the few things she'd brought back from her place half an hour earlier and had spent the time after that standing in the shower under scalding hot water trying to scrub off the remnants of the day. Getting rid of the smell and the left over ashes on her hair and skin had been easy. But whenever she had desperately tried to save her bandaged arm from getting soaked it had reminded her of the events of the last 48 hours. And of the fact that he was still out there. So, deciding that she wouldn't be able to sleep yet anyways she had chosen the other option: seeking out the company of Castle.

When she arrived at the bottom of the stairs, however, the only one she saw sitting in the dim lighting of the kitchen was Alexis, hunched over a giant of a book and nibbling at a pen. She slowly approached as to not to scare her when Alexis raised her head from her work.

"Kate, hi," she said looking at her with a smile.

"Hi Alexis, sorry, I didn't want to scare you," Kate replied as she stood before the girl with her hands in her back pockets.

"Oh, don't worry, I couldn't really concentrate anyways."

They settled into a rather uncomfortable silence as both debated on what to say next. Alexis raised the cup that was sitting in front of her on the kitchen counter and pointed it towards Kate. "Tea?"

"That would actually be great, thank you," Kate said with a small but honest smile.

Alexis got up and made her way over to the cabinet that held the cups before turning on the stove to get the water boiling in the kettle again. While they were waiting she turned around leaning her back against the fridge and looking at Kate.

"How are you doing?" She quickly regretted asking that would lead to such an obvious answer. "Sorry, that's kind of a stupid question regarding what happened..." she added suddenly developing keen interest in a spot on the tile floor and starting to scrub it with her right foot.

"No, it's not actually..." Kate set meeting Alexis' eyes again. "I'm fine, I guess. Thank you for asking."

They exchanged a smile before hearing the whistling of the kettle announcing that the water was ready to meet the tea in the cup. Alexis filled the cup and handed it to Kate.

"Thank you."

"Sure."

Again, the silence. Why did the situation feel weird anyways?

"So, what're you doing?" Kate asked taking a seat across from where Alexis had been when she had entered the kitchen.

"Just homework," the girl said getting back into her seat. "It's for my German class, I've been putting it off all week but it's due tomorrow. I'm almost done though," she replied looking up at the detective.

Kate nodded as both her hands wrapped around the cup in front of her. She then looked around the living room wondering. "Where did your dad disappear to?"

"He's in his study." Alexis nodded in the direction of the closed door to her right. "He got a call from Paula half an hour ago and hasn't come out since."

"Is everything alright?" Kate asked with a worried look on her face.

"Oh yeah," Alexis assured her. "If it were something bad he would have gone for the highest volume on his stereo by now."

"What kind of music?"

"The really noisy and annoying kind," Alexis replied and they both laughed.

"He was so worried about you..."

Kate suddenly was really taken aback by the statement and felt herself blush slightly. Alexis immediately felt bad. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I really shouldn't have said this-"

"No, no Alexis, it's fine. I was just surprised, I guess..."

"That he cares about you?"

Their eyes met and Kate really didn't know how to answer to that.

"He does, you know? Care about you, I mean. I've never seen him as freaked as he was when it dawned on him that the guy who had shot himself wasn't actually the killer..."

Kate slowly nodded taking in what she had just heard tilting her head slightly so that she could easily throw a glance at the door to Castle's study.

"He saved my life," she murmered to herself but still loud enough for Alexis to hear.

"Oh, believe me. Once he could rest assured that you were safe and back at the precinct it didn't take him long bragging about that! Did he really kick down a door?"

"Oh yes," Kate said smirking. "I heard him complain about the pain in his shoulder a few hours ago." Kate paused while she sipped her tea. When she set it back down she looked down at her hands before meeting Alexis' eyes again.

"Your dad did an extremely brave thing today, Alexis. If it wasn't for him I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be sitting here right now. I don't even know how to thank him, yet." She trailed off fearing that if she kept talking she might let the tears coming that had been threatening to fall for the last hours.

"Well, I'm pretty sure it was actually his thank you to you. I mean, how many times have you saved him in the past really?" They both broke into a grin.

"Thank you for saying it though," Alexis said quietly. "Having seen him go crazy earlier it feels really good to know that you feel that way."

After another, this time more comfortable, silence had settled in again Alexis took a deep breath and hesitantly picked up the conversation again.

"Can I ask you something personal?"

"Sure," Kate said wondering but surprisinly not scared of what could come next.

"My dad... he once told me about you mom. And I was wondering..." She swallowed and looked up at Kate who silently encouraged her to continue. "The whole time after we were sure that you guys were ok I was wondering... Did the fire harm any of her stuff?"

Now it was Kate's turn to swallow but she quickly regained her composure.

"I mean... I just thought about what I would do if I was in your spot and the possibility of losing what little I had of my mother who wasn't alive anymore probably... It would probably destroy me..."

Kate looked at her hesitantly but averted her eyes quickly when she found that she didn't know how to react. Instead, she began tracing the rim of her cup.

"You're the first one to ask that question."

After a short silence Alexis jumped up suddenly and started gathering her papers and book. "And I probably shouldn't have. I'm so sorry..."

"No, no, no! Wait!" Kate interrupted her hasty movements by placing her hand on Alexis'. Their eyes met and Alexis sat back down.

"You don't have to be sorry. Actually, it's... it's the only thing that's been on my mind since your dad got me out."

Alexis eyed her tentatively while Kate's hands and eyes went back to her cup.

"To be honest, I haven't really dared to look closely, yet. I found my necklace with a ring of hers that I wear every day in the debris. The rest is stuffed in my bedroom closet and Detective Esposito said that my bedroom didn't look too bad... So I might be lucky."

She didn't want to tell the girl that she hadn't found her dad's watch that she treasured so much and that that part was eating away at her.

"Was all you have in there?"

"Pretty much. I had one picture hidden away in the living room which should be in ashes now. But the rest was stashed in boxes in my closet. But even if those things suffered some slight damage... the most precious things are always the ones you carry with you in your heart."

When Kate felt the tears well up in her eyes she swallowed and unconsciously shook her head in an attempt to clear it.

"Alexis, I shouldn't be telling you all this. You shouldn't be bothered by the dark parts of reality yet. You should just go on enjoying yourself instead of listening to things causing others pain-"

"But I don't mind."

Kate looked at her warily and waited until Alexis continued.

"I know I'm only sixteen years old with little to no life experience and I'm sure you can imagine that I would never want to be in your place. But I don't mind hearing about it... As long as you don't mind talking about it, of course. Because I think it's an admirable thing of you to do," she finished quietly.

Kate was left speechless at the last sentence.

"What do you mean?"

Alexis started fidgeting. "Well... you have this strength in you that I really admire. Dad told me a little of what you told him after he confronted you about wanting to help you solve her... you know... And I'm sure that it must have taken everything you had to do what you did years ago."

"What?"

"Deciding to be ready to put everything behind you."

"Alexis, that's not something that I'm particularly proud of actually. And I haven't really been able to stay away from her case after your dad told me what he had found out."

"But you did what you had to to not fall apart and instead concentrated on staying sane for the sake of your dad." Alexis smiles slighty. "And saved him."

"Wow..."

"That's just how I see it," Alexis added hesitantly. "You could have done the exact opposite thing and probably would have ended up breaking yourself completely. Instead you put what you really wanted aside to keep your dad from having it happen to him. The way I see it that is an extremely selfless thing to do. And that makes it brave. You still have the chance to find the person you took your mom from you but back then I think you made the right choice because you chose to keep what little you had left of your life and made sure it stayed safe in some way."

Kate regarded Alexis with the most incredulous look she could muster. It took all she had to keep her jaw from dropping.

"If I've gone too far, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep or bring up something you didn't want to talk or even think about. So I will stop now and let you go to bed."

Kate slowly nodded and was finally able to shake herself out of the trance she had fallen into at Alexis' words.

"I just wanted to tell you this because my dad won't... and it's exactly how he feels about it."

Alexis slowly gathered up her papers and now empty cup and made her way over to the kitchen counter. After setting the purple piece of porcelain down in the sink she turned towards Kate with a tired but bright smile.

"Good night, Kate. Sleep well!"

"Thanks, Alexis, you too," she smiled back.

"Alexis!" Kate called her back when she had almost reached the top of the stairs. When the girl came back down a few steps she looked at her and added "Thank you. Really. I didn't think anybody would make me feel better today but you managed... I really appreciate what you said..."

"Sure, always." And with another smile she disappeared into the unknown chambers of the upper level of the Castle appartment.

When Castle slowly made his way out of his study to see if Alexis was still up studying he found Kate sitting at the kitchen table instead. He almost opened his mouth to say something when he noticed that she was gazing towards the stairs with two lonely tears running down the side of her face.

But what he also saw was a smile. A sight that he wasn't sure he would see again any time soon.

Whatever his daughter had done, he would have to thank her in the morning.

But right now, he was content just standing there and watching Kate Beckett look at peace with the world.

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_Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it! I would appreciate it even more if you left a review :)_


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